a few scrambled thoughts on failure

Yeah.

So.

What about failure???

Some of us are more vocal about our failures than others, but I don't really think any of us are 100% exempt from failure.

Unless. Maybe you're perfect.

And if that's the truth about you, our relationship may have to come to a halt at this point.

But. Back to the issue of failure.

My current thoughts have grown out of my previous post on Summer Reflections in which I wrote exclusively about the accomplishments of our summer.

I intentionally had to keep myself on the accomplishment track.

Because.

I promise. There were enough failures -on my account- to drain an ocean of ink dry with all the counting and recounting of them.

I am keenly aware of my own failures, weaknesses and short comings.

They bother me. But yet it can be fairly easy to dismiss them.

Oh. I'm struggling. 

Oh. I'll work on this area of my life when I get a chance....

It hasn't been that difficult to extend grace to myself, especially when I know the intentions of my heart.

What has stopped me in my tracks and caused me tremble in the recent months is that not only do I pay a price for my own failures, but my failures are touching the people around me.

Often in a negative way.

This very fact is what cause me to push forward on this subject. I can't afford to destroy the people around me by continual failure.



A few things that I am learning about failure:

-Failure is part of life. I will not grow if I never fail.

-Failure itself is usually not as critical as is my response to it.

-When I expect perfection from myself it is natural to then expect it from those around me.

-When my response to personal failure is one of shame and striving, I will in turn cause others to feel shame when they fail.



I'm trying to learn how to process my personal failures and the failures of my family in a way that brings redemptive change rather than the continual battering of oneself and  endless striving to do better.


I'm asking Jesus to help me kick the Accuser when he is the one showering shameful lies on me.

I'm also asking Jesus to open my eyes to my own sins. To show me where I need to fall on my face in repentance and how to then stand up and change my course.

I know that I do not always hear perfectly.

But in His faithfulness He continues to speak.

I long for Him to make His strength and power known in my failures.