"treasure these days with your little ones...."
"they grow up so fast..."
"these are the very best moments of your life"
I think I understand {at least in part} what these dear ladies are trying to communicate to me. But sometimes I just feel like staring at them and saying,
"REALLY!!??! Do you remember how tired you were and that you never got to read your own book and that a big shopping day really just means getting groceries and toilet paper??!! Do you remember all the bickering and fighting??!! Do you remember pining for a moment of quietness?? Really...do you remember THAT part??!!"
Some days though I really do feel like an older woman and maybe that's because {SHOCK OF ALL SHOCKS} I am quickly headed towards middle age.
(don't laugh if you already consider me to be middle age. don't laugh either if you consider me to just be crawling out of the cradle.momentarily I would be happy to crawl back into the cradle.)
What I really think those who have gone before me in this journey of motherhood are trying to say through their sweet sentiments is:
- What you are doing is worthwhile.
- 20 years from today the memories of the these hard days will fade. Your memories of joy will outweigh your memories of the tough...so, Grow joy!!!
- Time is fleeting.
I agree. 100%
However, I easily lose perspective.
And some days are just H.A.R.D.
That's why I can't hear it too often from these older ladies.
This past Sunday afternoon I hopped over into my More Mature Mothering Mode.
I looked around me and I just knew. This. This is one of the scenes that will be etched in my heart forever.
This is a scene that will play over and over in my mind when I am a 60 year old lady sitting in church watching the young families around me.
And I will wish to push rewind and be in my living room with these little people again.
And I will wish that I had simply reveled in the joy of these moments MORE when they were my everyday reality.
And after church I will hobble over to that young mom and with moist eyes I'll whisper:
"these are the best days of your life. treasure the moments....."
P.S. There are a few other things that I hope I say to that young mom when I am 60. I might document that sometime soon mostly as a reference for me to come back to in 30 years.
I'm with you. And I already have the moist eyes...
ReplyDeleteI too have been less than encouraged by comments from older women, though I tried, like you, to respond with grace, knowing that they must have forgotten the hard spots.
ReplyDeleteI've wondered what I should say to a young mom - so if you have insights to share...I'll take notes too.
A mom who is too close to 40 to pretend she is not middle aged.
Gina
It's hard for me in the midst of the craziness to give grace to the older ones the way you have. Although, the older my oldest ones get, the more I do start to realize what the older moms are saying. Meanwhile, when we are still in the middle of the littles, or when some are feeling stretched between teens and littles, we need to encourage each other, like you are doing with this post. With words such as, find the joy in each day. Really LOOK into your little peoples' eyes. Take time to hug, to give kind words, to snuggle. Because these little people are growing up before our eyes and we never get another chance at their babyhood, their toddlerhood, their childhood. And...as a mom, if you're so deep in the diapers and messes and fights that you can't find the joy, ask someone for help!!! Because you don't want to waste these 20 years of their or your life!! And if you're a mom who has already raised your children, and you're trying to help those of us still struggling, coming over to wash our dishes, read to our babies, and sweep our floors (not all the time! Just to give a lift!) will give us some courage to keep on going. And as we watch you calmly speak to our littles, maybe we'll gain new perspective, and remember that not everything has to be a big deal or a big battle!
ReplyDeleteGood stuff here! :) I especially like your line:
DeleteAnd...as a mom, if you're so deep in the diapers and messes and fights that you can't find the joy, ask someone for help!!! Because you don't want to waste these 20 years of their or your life!!
Yes and amen.
Good stuff here! :) I especially like your line:
DeleteAnd...as a mom, if you're so deep in the diapers and messes and fights that you can't find the joy, ask someone for help!!! Because you don't want to waste these 20 years of their or your life!!
Yes and amen.
I found your blog...by snooping on facebook!! :-) Enjoyed your post...and will echo Suzannes comment...the days are long...the years are short!! And somehow the steps of the children get bigger and the Mom gets older, or maybe it is because I had the littles and the biggers all mixed up together that honestly you really do just get busier and busier! I think part of it is too, we create jobs for our littles and get used to having those jobs being done and when they get bigger and start flying away...we still have all these 'jobs' to do...and all of a sudden have no helpers!! Anyway, enjoy the time with your littles before their steps get bigger!! :-) ~Dena (roots in Shippensburg)
ReplyDelete