Wednesday, July 31, 2013

"In the meantime we'll be working with j-o-o-o-y..."

So. 2 more days until due date.

Who knows how many more days until deliverance!!??!

I am up to much randomness these days as I wait. I haven't really noticed a pattern to my work habits or my thought patterns except that they are both subject to change quite quickly for little or no apparent reason at all.

Last night I was laying in bed awake. I was having at least a partial pity party for myself. Lucky husband was sleeping deeply, snoring lightly. I was uncomfortable. Restless. Sweating for no good reason. My handstitched pillow cover caught my attention. Handstitched by my sweet Gramma Lehman. It used to be her tradition to give each of her many grandchildren a set of cross stitched pillow cases as a wedding present.

I'm not sure if she is even able to do cross stitch anymore. Anyway, my mind was turned toward her. A small framed woman, at least 2 inches shorter than me. She did this 13 times. I wondered how many restless nights she must've spent, aching all over. She probably worked much harder than what I do. She probably endured many trying circumstances. No air conditioner. Were any of her babies born in the middle of the hot summer? No running water. How many trips did she make to the out house in those last weeks (x13)!?!? I somehow never thought of my grandmother in these terms before. It would be fun to ask her about some of these important details.

A perk of nesting is that I begin to straighten out a few corners that have been needing attention for a long time. Well. This really isn't a corner. It was like an entire messy front porch and a displaced wooden shelf.

This shelf and I have some history. Although I am in love with the idea of this rustic shelf and have put too much of my time into restoring it, I'm not really all that cranked over the idea of this particular shelf on my current front porch. In my mind, it belongs on the front porch of an old cabin or restored old mansion surrounded by trees. Almost anywhere besides on the porch of a very vanilla white town house.

I have offered to give it to a few friends, all of which aren't ready for it yet. Either the house is still in blue print form or the wrap around porch needs to be reconstructed or she isn't quite sure it goes with her house or something like that. In the meantime I have the shelf sitting on my front porch, looking a bit displaced. I also have shoes strewn all over my front porch. And I want things to be attractive and orderly for this baby. I mean, cluttered surroundings surely could affect the behavior of a baby, I am sure!

*aha* idea pops into my head. What if I would lay this shelf down on it's side and use it as shoe storage. The shelves could be little cubby hole spaces. Heave-ho......

Hmmm. It's functional. And it was fun arranging a few decorations on the top. I thought I actually liked it better than what I do now that I've looked at the pictures and realized just how silly that one open end looks. Maybe I'll enclose it someday. Probably not though, just because I do not usually totally finish a project.

I love this wreath that my talented friend, Rosanne made for me. I think it goes well with the shelf on the floor right by the front door. I like the way the burlap kind of pulls the two things together. I also LOVE the burnt yellow color of the flowers!!! It's so fun to have handmade gifts from friends around my house....makes me smile with pleasure to be reminded often throughout the day of my lovely friends.

I have another project cooking with this fabric. These colors make me very happy. I'll post a picture later of this project. That is, if I ever get it done. And if I am happy with the finished project.

And now I'm off to make the sewing machine hum....

I am deeply disturbed by the fact that I cannot get spell check to work and that blogger is just being a real pain the 'you know what' right now. #100%uncooperative

Friday, July 19, 2013

14 days

My history includes delivering anywhere from 2 weeks early to 11 days late. I just entered the "could-deliver-anytime-phase". Unfortunately for me, this phase could last for a while. I would be so pleased to deliver earlier rather than later. Fortunately, I have a wonderful midwife, whom I love dearly, who wouldn't even consider jump starting labor for me. So, there's no hope of an early delivery unless my body and baby together decide that they've had enough of this.

This summer has been insanely busy for our family. I felt like I had very little time to sit around dreaming sweet baby dreams, considering names, stock piling baby treasures or worrying about all the 'what if's'. This pregnancy has simply gone by almost in the blink of an eye.

The one and only thing that I did do that turned my mind and hands toward my baby during this pregnancy was that I revived an old love for crocheting. My mom taught me to crochet and knit back when I was probably 10 years old. I remember loving the feel of the yarn in my hands. I remember being so proud of the tacky projects that I completed. But as a teen, my time and energy got swallowed up in youth group, volley ball, school and more socializing. I laid the yarn and needles down and didn't pick them up again for at least 15 years.

This pregnancy awakened something in me and I got the urge to crochet again. I wanted to make something with my hands for this baby. So. I started browsing little hat patterns and looking at all the yarn choices. It didn't take long for me to become an addict. Crocheting become a survival mechanism in the craziness of the past couple of months. I would unwind, late at night, with the yarn and needle. I would stop my other brain processing and think about the little person growing inside.

I've made numerous hats but these are two of my favorites. The striped one is all ready to slip on a robust little man's head and the soft green one with the white flower is ready just in case we happen to be blessed with a tiny little lady of a baby.

Yeah, we still do it the old fashion way....we do not know the sex of our baby. We've waited with all our babies to find out the sex at birth. It's been a really fun part of our experience and so it's hard for us to imagine anything different.

I look at my girly clothes and think about how much I would love to be mommy to another little girl. My girl stash only got used once and that was 9 years ago. Just looking and tenderly touching those delicate pink pieces brings back a rush of memories from when my first and only daughter introduced me to motherhood. Ahhhhh....

 Then I pick up a piece of boy clothing and my heart melts at the thought of another little boy joining our ranks. We could have our own basket ball team. Think of the mountains my guys could climb, the houses they could build, the rivers they could forge. 4 boys. Wow. I wouldn't have to mow the grass again for years.

So. 14 more days until due date. My mind is now swirling with lots of baby thoughts. I'm waiting. I'm anxious. I can't wait to meet this new little person with whom I'm already head over heels in love with.

 I'm recalling the days of sharing pregnancy with this fun bunch of friends in 2010:

It's a bit more lonely this time.

And when I feel like yelling at one of my tribe because they're getting too dirty or making the house dirty or fighting or just getting on my nerves...I try to remember that one day, not that long ago....I was waiting with the same kind of passion to meet each of them.

9 years was Angeline Renae

3 years ago it Christopher Melvin

5 and half years ago it was this little sweet stinker who I call Joshua Myron

7 years ago Nicholas Hans filled my arms with all his sweetness

And today, I wait. I hope. I dream. And I use 3 bed pillows plus a body pillow to make it through the night.