As the weather grows warmer and the baby gets bigger and the pressure of moving increases and the sleep decreases.......my own mouth has become more and more comfortable with spouting out frustrations, especially directed toward my children.
The children were startled at first.
Then they got used to it.
"Oh...watch out! Mom is in a bad mood!"
Then they started copying me and my tone and my words. And. I was startled. Horrors. Do I really sound like that!?!?
Of course, I haven't called anyone a "poopy face" and I haven't said " I DON'T like you!!"
I'm more mature than all that.
"You're frustrating me!!!!
"I give up. Just totally give up."
"You NEVER listen to me!"
"I have HAD it! Go tell your dad"
Why do ugly words that kill and destroy come so easily?? This is why I didn't have time to push this little project off for another day. I do not have time to destroy myself and the most precious gift of the people closest to me.
Something had to change. I'm slightly embarrassed that I need this little system to help change my habits.
Here's our lastest scheme for growing in grace together.
A few rules.
A few coins.
The heat is really on me since all 4 kids are allowed to police me. I am the only one who is allowed to penalize the kids because I am just not up to settling fights between them about who heard who saying what.
Each time one of us are caught breaking a rule, the culprit must put a quarter in the cup. The quarter will be coming straight from the culprit's personal piggy bank. (ouch. ouch. for my kids. 25 cents is pretty weighty)
The money collected in the cup will go into the offering.
If you watch the financial reports from Meadville Mennonite Chapel closely you may be able to figure out the sucess of our project.
We have a few coins nestled in the bottom of the cup on Day 2 of our reform.
Shaunda, I love your creativity. I love the way your act on your desire to "grow in grace together" and not just wish it would happen. I love the way that you penalize yourself and not just the children, because I am also seeing myself in the childrens words and it isn't pretty. I admire you greatly. Blessings to you especially these last few weeks before a wonderful blessing is added to your family. Missing you.
ReplyDeleteHania!!!! I didn't know you had a blog....now I'm happily exploring it. Interestingly you have been on my mind the last couple of days and I've been thinking about how I would love to connect with you again. We just need a good long late night hash session on our bunks on Ul. Zwirki!!!!!!
DeleteShaunda, this is such a great idea! In fact, I think I should go make one of these immediately because I too have begun to realize that my mouth has been saying too many detrimental things lately.
ReplyDeleteThanks for inspiration and for being honest enough to post about this.