I feel I must add a few public comments to my last post.
First of all, my intention was not to complain or cry for help. I was simply trying to being realistic about what needs to happen in the next several weeks. Lots of people have moved across the continent and lived to tell about it. I'm just moving across the street.
I'm also very blessed to live among a community of believers who practice serving each other in very practical ways. My husband and I are both from large families who also are willing to extend and stretch their own personal resources on our behalf. I feel gratefully humbled by the offers that have already been extended to us. If I do not have enough help in the next 2 months, it will honestly be my own fault. I'm a proud lady and asking for and receiving help isn't my strength.
On to a slightly different issue:
The gift of this house to us has been an incredible boost to my faith. Sharing about this gift with you and reading your responses has boosted me even further.
The past year it felt like my faith in God's goodness was being tested numerous times. It seemed that so many of my prayers were answered with either silence or a very unmistakable 'no'. I began to doubt God's good intentions toward me and my family. I felt at times that life must just be one big series of deferred hopes and learning to somehow find joy in laying down my desires. Even desires that I felt had been planted in my heart and mind from God himself.
I'm impatient. I'm short-sighted.
I know that God wanted to teach me and grow me through the laying down of desires.
But He also wanted me to know that He is good. Beyond my imagination.
And now He wants me receive His goodness in all its fullness. This new property is a part of that goodness. But there is so much more....
"Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare" -Psalm 40:5
I struggled in reading your story...unsure of whether to respond with uninhibited rejoicing, or to cynically question why God "always" works out housing situations for others but "never" for us. Deep within, I know that His timing is impeccable, and that He has good reasons for asking us to wait. And when I put aside my selfishness, I find great comfort & encouragement in knowing that He IS at work in the lives of others, and certainly is orchestrating our family's story, as well.
ReplyDeleteI have to ask: if we had moved into the green house, the one that you & Amos looked at with us several years ago---would we soon be next-door neighbors?
I could cry with you and for you, Joanna- feeling cynical is not fun and I was there way too much in the last couple of years. It's hard to believe in the middle of waiting that God is orchestrating something good and beautiful. Grace to you on your journey...
DeleteI do feel that part of the goodness of God as shown through this house/property has come from relinquishing some of my dreams. The house isn't the huge, old mansion that I've dreamed of owning. But it's beautiful to me, because I see the hand of God in the way he has brought it to us. I don't know if that makes any sense at all. I think I am trying to say that there really are GOOD things that happen in waiting and relinquishing.
I STILL always think of you when I walk past that green house. :) We would be getting might close to being next door neighbors. The big park area would between as well as one other house.
I enjoyed discussing the goodness of God and the short=sightedness of our human tendencies with you today! What a fun day! Love you.
ReplyDeleteIt was a great break for me and I always love to spend time with you too!
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