A Letter from Mrs. Thomas

This is a repost with a few edits from 3 years ago when I was 'very great with child'. 



Dear Miss Sleek, Skinny, Pink Camaro,

Good afternoon! I would like to begin this letter by acknowledging the fact that I have felt very honored to be noticed by  you. I realize that I am much bulkier,  a lot more clumsy, and over all, less attractive than  you and  that I am really quite unworthy of your time and attention.  Thank you for not ignoring me all together. Thank you for recognizing me as a fellow comrade. Again. I am honored that you took the time and energy to interact with me in the recent past.

I feel inclined though, at this time to share with you some proper etiquette for relating to folks like myself. Some of the comments that you have made in the past several weeks/months seem to be to be rather thoughtless and even rude at times. I do not doubt your intentions. Really. I believe that the comments have been made out of sincerity mixed with naivety. For this reason I would like to share with you a few tips on what to say or what not to say should you encounter another Mrs. Thomas in the near future. Perhaps this letter will give you some sound advice for processing the advice and comments that other Pink Camaros may throw your way if you should ever find yourself in my current state of being.

To begin with, I wonder if it has ever entered your mind that I do get a fairly decent view of myself at least several times daily as I encounter the mirrors through out my home. I go to great measures to avoid the full length mirrors of this world, but I have found it impossible to stay away from them completely. I mean, try walking into a grocery store. Like it or not, those shiny, sparkling doors hold back no secrets to each and every person that dares to walk through them. All that to say, I am acutely aware of how large I am without you telling me that I look huge.

I would also like to assure you that I do indeed know the exact date of the expected arrival of my baby. It would be just fine with me if you would keep that doubtful look to yourself when I tell you that I have x number of weeks left yet until my due date. Thanks for telling me that I look like I should have had my baby yesterday and that you certainly hope I will have it by tomorrow...even though my due date is still 3 weeks away.

I also find myself wondering how exactly it is that you think you know when my baby has dropped. I tend to believe that I am much more in tune with the position of my baby than what you are. After all, I am the one that has been carrying it for the last 9 + months. It seems really absurd for me to argue with you about whether or not my baby has dropped, especially when I know that I am right. Anyway, thanks for letting me know that I am waddling.

When you ask me if I am carrying twins and I tell you that I am not, once again, it would be more polite for you to believe me than to cast looks of disbelief my way. You would do well to remember that this is my 5th pregnancy. Aside from the fact that women do just tend to get bigger and more stretched out with each baby, I also likely know better than you what it feels like to have a baby growing inside of me by now. I can feel more of my baby's body parts than what I actually wish to feel at times and it is quite obvious to me that there are not multiple baby parts floating around inside of me. Thanks for telling me that you think you would only be half my size if you were me.

I really wondered where you brain was at the other day when you pulled up along the curb, rolled down the window and said, "No baby yet??!!" Especially taking into consideration the fact that I was standing there in broad day light. I can't imagine that you were unable to see the trees growing on my Mount Everest. I hope, I mean, I really hope that after my baby is born that I will be sporting at least a more deflated version of Mount Everest. My advice is simply this: look before you speak. And even better yet, think one moment before you speak.

I also wonder if you think that it is easy for me to forget how uncomfortable I feel. It is a pretty tough thing to get off my mind at this point. It just follows me around everywhere. When you tell me that I look miserable...well...it just confirms to me that I am not doing a very good job of hiding my  aches and pains and emotional instability.

I really hope that you are not feeling too reprimanded at this point of this letter. I would like to again thank you for being a part of my life. The scenarios that I have referenced here in this letter have often brought humor into my days. Laughter is something that I certainly have a lack of right now...so thanks for making me laugh.

This may be hard for you to believe, but at one time in history, I too was a sleek, skinny Camaro. I know that I made many thoughtless comments to others simply out of not knowing what to say when I wanted to show that I really did care. I trust that this letter will aid in future uncomfortable situations. 

I hope to someday soon join you in the fast lane of life again. I hope that my sluggish, swollen brain will regain some speed and wit so that we interact in the fun ways that we used to...instead of you making all the comments and it taking me a week or two to come back with something even half way witty. And even more, I can't wait for the day when you're a Mrs. Thomas and I get to give you all kinds of advice and encouragement.

Respectfully,
Mrs. Thomas the Tank Engine

p.s. This letter is not written to any one person in particular...it is simply  a compilation of some of the conversations that I have encountered with various people throughout my past 5 pregnancies. There are more stories, to be sure, but I think this is enough for one day.


*Please note, I do indeed have more than 3 weeks left until my due date this time. However, I believe that the discomforts of pregnancy affect me earlier with each child. I told my husband just recently that I feel like I should be in my last 3 weeks. Unfortunately, I have 77 days to go yet. Or, actually fortunately for me.....as you'll find out later.