Thursday, February 7, 2013

Reality Check

I'm not the super mom that I hoped I would be.

I'm not the super-involved-always-in-the-middle-of-a-messy-kid-project kind of mom, even though I like to portray myself as such.

I'm not always smiling.

I say 'no' too often.

I spend too much time on the computer.

I anticipate the kid's bedtime too much.

I've said, "Not NOW!!! I'm too busy!!!" more times that I can count on my 10 fingers in the last week.

 Sometimes I speak words that kill and destroy the ones I love the most.

I usually do not take pictures of my worst moments.

I crave quiet time and independence.

Sometimes I yell, even in the absence of an emergency.

Sometimes I want to run away and hide in a cave for at least a month.

It shocks me how quickly I go from happy to mad. It shocks my kids too, I can tell.



On the other hand:

It shocks me how quickly I can go from complete devastation to full joy. It's Jesus.

It's surprising how much joy I've found in losing myself for the cause of raising a family. It's Jesus.

I do love my calling in life. Thank you, Jesus.

I love having fun with kids. Thank you for this crazy sense of humor, Jesus!

My kids have taught me more in the last 8+ years than what I'll ever instill in them in a life time. Not just my kids, but the vast array of kids in my life. It's Jesus in them!!!

I'm still a kid at heart. Thank you, Jesus!

I love speaking words of life and blessing to my children. Thank you Jesus for giving me your words to pass on.

I love singing with them about Jesus (and other crazy things, like old women swallowing flies) Thank you, Jesus, for giving me something to sing about!


I am so thankful and completely humbled, that Jesus {the Perfect One}, has entrusted these children into my care, knowing that I would  mess up and I would sometimes wound his Treasured Possessions.

Most of all, I'm SO thankful that Jesus has redemptive power over the realities of  my humanity.

"The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever-do not abandon the works of your hands."  Psalm 138:8

5 comments:

  1. Yes, yes, yes...we are all transformation in progress...God's redemption at work...

    Love to you.

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  2. You are a beautiful mother. I see you in the earthy, chaotic moments and (still!) I am always wishing to be more like you.

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  3. The kind of parent Jesus wants us to be and that I want to be. This is beautiful and encouraging to me.
    Jolynn

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  4. Well said! Me too! I love the side by side pics. I need to have Geryll take some of me when I'm in a huff.

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    1. Well. Maybe you should, but it's not very fun to see how ugly I look when I'm mad. Sometimes I stop myself long enough to look in the mirror when I am super grumpy....it honestly helps me somehow when I see the shocking horror of it for myself.

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