Friday, September 25, 2020

Of kids learning to drive and potty training all in the same week

 No.

 Silly.

 Of course I am not talking about just one child. I do have 7 of them, after all.

This past week my oldest daughter turned 16 years old.



She's been waiting for this day for quite some time. 

Me too.

BUT. I wasn't prepared for how difficult it would be for me to breathe during that first ride with her behind the wheel.


 It wasn't exactly the most terrifying experience of my life, but it was one in which I felt like my life and the lives of my entire family were on the line and I had little to no control over how it was all going to end.

Thankfully, the first little drive ended at our home with a suburban load of intact people.

Thankfully, her dad is doing the teaching and most of the riding with her. He reports that she is doing great and improving every day.

I am happy to have another driver in the family. I am happy for her to be gaining her long anticipated independence. I am happy to have another grown lady to consult and brainstorm and work with here at home.





(edited to add that I did drive with Angeline yesterday and I agree with my husband. Her driving skills have more than tripled in the last week)


While my husband is out driving around town with the 16 year old, I am sitting (or maybe running) around the homestead trying to potty train our 22 month old son.



There are some things that you just never really get to be that good at, even with years and years of experience.

Potty training is one of those things.

You can research all the latest methods* to potty train your child in just one weekend or you can try the method that your mother used to train you nearly 40 years ago. No particular results are guaranteed since every child has their own little mind and own little quirks.

I have learned a few things along the way that seem to make the process a little less rocky for the child and slightly more pleasant for the parent.

Here's my list of things that are very important to have in place when you embark on the toilet training lessons:

1. Set aside a week to focus on potty training. Don't feel pressure to do anything besides stay 100% focused on your child and keep up with the minimal needs of your family. It's a good idea to spend the bulk of at least 3 days at home. No one will die if you have hot dogs and popsicles for dinner once in a while.

2. Make a commitment to plunge into this and give no thought to turning back to diapers or pull ups. This is a big learning curve for a toddler and it requires 100% commitment from mom to be consistent. Switching back and forth between diapers and underwear sends all kinds of confusing messages to your child.

3. Make it a fun and positive experience for the child. Stickers. Candy. Paw Patrol shorts. Special snacks. Celebrate victories big time.



4. This isn't a good time to begin addressing the 47 other issues in your toddler's life. Remember, we're trying to keep this as positive as possible.

5. Keep all cleaning supplies and clean clothes near by. You'll be needing them. Accidents feel more aggrevating to me when I have to run upstairs for a clean set of clothes and then go and find the cleaning bucket and rag. However, if I am prepared for  the accidents and even planning on them, I am not so easily annoyed. Remember we're trying to keep frustration levels as low as possible for the child and mother.



6. Take a break when your toddler takes a nap. This potty training process is intense and demanding. I don't really care what all is calling your name. Take a least 15 minutes to enjoy a little down time. He will soon be awake and you'll need to be back on high alert for the next 6 hours. You will be better prepared for the intensity of the rest of the day if you see to a few of your own needs along the way.


{ leather furniture and hard surface floors are your best friends during this training season}

7. My mental preparation (which includes my insistence on keeping my schedule as free from extra obligations as possible) for this week of training is key to keeping the week low stress and happy for both me and my child. I didn't make the connection between my preparation and commitment to the training process and our success rate in my earlier years of parenting. Now I know that we're in this together. And we're  both going to stick at it until we are 100% successful.



My tips are not completely fool proof by any means. 

But they are helping me stay positively engaged with my son. And so far, this guy has been a real champ!!!


So. There's my week of potty training and learing to drive. 

I have less to say about the driving since I'm on my first and steepest ever learning curve with that. One parent told me that it gets easier and less stressful with each child. I think I can believe that, at least if it follows my experience with toilet training.

It's an exciting life.


* Lora Jensen has shaped some of my approach to potty training. While I do not adhere 100% to all her rules, I have found many of them very helpful.

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