Monday, February 8, 2016

dear, dear young momma

Dear Young Momma,

It's nearly 12 years now that I have been a momma. In so many ways I still feel young and new to this vocation.  This way of motherhood is not for the faint of heart. But take heart. You were designed for this work. You've been equipped. You have resources.  I want to share with you just a few things that I have been learning along the way.

1. The older ladies in your community have a wealth of wisdom . You would be wise to find ways to access their experience, their wisdom, their love, their compassion, their vision. They have done many things right and there is no sense in expending all your emotional and mental capacities trying to reinvent the wheel of motherhood. Be humble enough to learn from the voice of experience. Be brave enough to breach the generation gap. Learn to understand her language and seek to be understood.

If I ever reach this point, I know that I would LONG to speak into your life. I hope that I will have learned by then how to be both humble and brave as I share my life with you.

2. You're an adult now and sometimes being an adult is just plain down hard. As much as we all want to be adults, it is not easy moving from childhood to adulthood, especially when that includes being responsible 24/7 for the well-being of very small needy people. Especially when these small needy people strip you of all your former independence. But sorry darling, there is no getting away from your newly acquired position of Mom.

It's ok if you come crying to me about this, because I remember how hard it was for me to lay down my own childishness....

3. You cannot be all things to your child every moment of every day. No, you cannot throw your responsibility on someone else, but you can allow them to help you carry the load at times. Be humble enough to ask and brave enough to let someone walk close. You'll give a tremendous gift to yourself and to your child and hopefully to the third party as well.

It's ok if you come crying to me about this. How could I forget when I was so proud for too long...

4. You don't want to be so tired and overwhelmed that you totally miss out on the joy of this season of your life. Learn to find rhythms of rest and rejuvenation in your home surrounded by your children. Humbly admit your limitations. Be brave enough to call in reinforcements at times. You don't want to miss the joy of this season of your life because you were trying so hard to do it all by yourself.

You may come crying to me about this too because I tried really, really hard for too long. I remember too well. I will probably start crying with you.

5. You're a good mom. You're giving it your best shot. You're learning.  Just remember, there's a wealth of wisdom just a few pews ahead of you. Be humble. Be brave.

Just maybe I will be one of those silver haired ladies someday....??? I'm not sure how much wisdom I will have but I know for sure that I wouldn't want you to be scared of me. Perhaps I will have to be humble and brave enough to come looking for you.